We all have the image of Arnold Schwarzenegger frolicking in the pampas. If this is the case for you then it is because you have certainly seen at least one excerpt from the excellent film Conan the barbarian by John Milius released in 1982, or the image of the second film oscillating between the medium and the nanardesque.However, even if the film was the starting point of the career of the actor who was governor of California (anyway) it should not be forgotten that Conan draws from much older origins. Indeed, Conan the Cimmerian is a character created by Robert E. Howard in the 30s, originally for pulp magazines. Good series B, therefore, nevertheless tinged with a certain pessimism towards humanity, and in particular on the ability of men to organize themselves in society. Quite far from the image of the gruff barbarian who cuts his enemies in half. Do not be afraid, it is not incompatible. On the video game side, we didn't have much to put in our mouths. A game of THQ that I had the great honor to receive on one of my birthdays (yes my friends hate me). In this game, Conan balances epic punchlines like "You fight like a young virgin", the Cimmerian class in all its glory. Since then, an MMO of Funcom, Age of Conan, which will have marked the spirits much less than The Secret World it must be said, and Conan Exiles which will interest us today. After the action game a little nanar and the intimate mmo, the open-world survival game is on the agenda. Quite strange choice but why not. The game had already been released in early access and had encountered a lot of technical problems. Let's see what happens after the official release with a big update.
CAUTION: This test contains boobs. Please skip your way if you are allergic. Go your way too if you see blasphemies everywhere.
MORE SERIOUSLY: this game is for adults, and so is the test.
An extremely successful universe
The first graphical findings are simply excellent. The game engine renders the enchanting and varied landscapes of Conan Exiles very well. Deserts, jungles, snowy expanses, everything is there to avoid monotony. Well on the other hand you will eat a lot of desert since it is your starting environment and it will be advisable not to go too far to start. The bestiary, meanwhile, adds a little to the change of scenery as the enemies encountered can be known to our world (gazelles, crocodiles, hyenas) or specific to the universe. The character design is rather successful, even if we would have liked a little more options to the creation of the character. But let some be reassured, the voyeurism side is far from having been forgotten.
A game resolutely for adults
If it doesn't turn out to be a great idea to let your 8-year-old play GTA, it seems worse to let them touch Conan Exiles. The first clue is at the end of your character creation. You can change the size of the boobs, that's pretty classic, especially if you're used to Asian MMOs. On the other hand, what is less clear is that three options are proposed: partial nudity, total, or without nudity (let's call it the "prude" mode). I anticipate the question, yes it also works with men. And yes, those who have something to compensate for will be able to adjust their masculine attributes to the maximum, because at Conan, we are well embroidered. Beyond that, we are not among the bisounours. Initially, you have the choice between several gods including the famous Crom, on which is specified that he will have absolutely nothing to do with your mouth, even if you worship him all your life. For the others, there is a sympathetic one (the one I necessarily chose) who encourages to consume human flesh to venerate him. It is therefore good to butcher corpses before blessing some pieces to obtain "pure human flesh" that will grant you a huge regen of life points. Oh and then you can also dismember an enemy, and pick up his leg to use as a weapon. You understand why it is advisable to leave your kid on Fortnite or Minecraft to avoid years of therapy.
Jesus the Cimmerian
As stated before, you start in the middle of the desert but not for any reason. As in The Elder Scrolls series, you start after being punished by justice, by mistake or not, it's up to you to imagine. Honestly, since my barbarian is lugging around hairy, the god she worships and the mouth that she is sticking, we will imagine that it was a little deserved anyway. But in the dark and violent world of Conan, no remission of sentence, suspension, or plea from Master Badinter who avoids the guillotine. Here you are left on a cross in Jesus mode to be eaten by crows. And it is even stipulated that it is forbidden for anyone to get us under penalty of suffering the same fate. This notion of humanism comes straight from the Enlightenment, no doubt. But be happy, Conan goes through this, and he signs them, he gets off because he's badass! (my theory is that he just can't read), and he picks you up! How nice this Conan is! Oh and then he gets stuck and leaves you furry in the desert, yeah… In fact he is moderately nice. Let's say that he is right in the middle between Eric Zemmour and Eddy Malou on the scale of sympathy.
Survival game requires
That's for the basic pitch. You will have to survive in the wastelands, that is to say, you will have to find food, drink, make an outfit made with fibers etc. The craft is progressive and quite immersive. We welcome our first weapons and armor with a certain pride, and we want to improve our stuff, especially since the skins of the clothes and others look very good visually. Knowing that the level of your character goes from 1 to 60 and that the more you advance, the more you can build cool stuff that will always take more resources, classic but effective system. On the combat side, it's cool, the sequences and dodges are rather intuitive. The map is not randomly generated as is possible in 7 Days to Die. As a result, it is impossible to influence the terrain, dig holes, turn grass that annoys you or build a cave. This makes the construction quite superficial, especially since it involves erecting entire walls, not blocks. A shame. The good side is that the map is extremely successful with multiple dungeons, caves, monster dens, evil temples, ect … Especially since with three difficulties, it is possible to adapt your gaming experience and to be able to enjoy the solo for those who would be lonely at heart. On the other hand, in solo, a question nags me: why is Conan Exiles not an Action RPG? Seriously, there's everything in it! The successful universe, the art direction, the graphics engine that renders well, the mature side, the dungeons and other points of interest, it lacked only quests (the objectives are only stages of progression of the genre: make a potion, collect ore, ect) and NPCs with real backgrounds and dialogues. Because there… You will mostly meet cannibals who will covet your flesh (while in the end it is me who eats them), and once I met a not hostile guy in a camp who gave me a sentence like "In the desert, it's hot … " Cimmerian philosophy, no doubt.
Multi-variety servers
If you get shit solo because it's not an action RPG (snif), this is probably where it is advisable to go multi. And here, inevitably, there is something for everyone. PVE, wild PVP that will push you to be as treacherous as possible, and even full RP (rollist experience that consists of talking and acting as your character). In short, there is something for everyone. Especially since some servers have even had the luxury of creating their own dedicated collection of mods, just to customize the gaming experience even more. On the mods side, on the other hand, there is a little bit of everything, but a lot of perversity, necessarily. Note the finesse of the creators with the famous Conan Sexiles, whose function will not escape many people.
Bugs again and again
Conan Exiles has been pretty screwed up for its bugs, and it still has some even if there are better. Personally, I've had tools that didn't work. Impossible for example (in my part) to plant seeds, impossible also to use the wheel of suffering. Oh yes, I forgot to mention that, theoretically, you can make a small slave farm quietou. For that, you have to knock out an NPC and then drag him to the wheel of suffering where he will learn to be docile, the bugger. Well, that's the theory. The practice is different since at home, it did not work. Is it the slave himself who is bugged? The device? It's hard to know unless you conduct tests that are quite costly in terms of time and resources. I also had stages of the chapters that did not unlock, such as equipping yourself with light armor. After two different full armors crafted, the stage still hasn't fallen, which is quite frustrating.
Conan Exiles, a survival game that didn't lose me after two hours. I admit that usually, it's complicated for me to hang on, unless I come across a top community (which is hard, necessarily). And, since the solo is generally quite punitive (to push towards the multi), well I drop out very quickly. For the trouble, Conan Exiles offers a very successful universe, reinforced by a mature side (perhaps a little exaggerated) and an effective artistic direction. The very successful graphics add greatly to the fun of play. If you want to immerse yourself in Conan Exiles as a group (and you are patient with bugs) then go for it, you will not be disappointed.
